There are things in life that shift your perspective in ways no book, mentor or framework ever could.
For me, that came through losing my family.
Not all at once.
But over a short five-year window that quietly, but permanently, changed how I see everything.
Life.
Relationships.
And yes, business.
The People Who Shaped Me
My mum was my best friend.
We backpacked around New Zealand together.
Even when we lived far apart, we spoke every few days.
We didn’t always see eye to eye when I was younger, but over time, that relationship became something really special. Deep. Easy. Real.
My brother was my protector.
He looked out for me.
We shared holidays, laughs & all the ups & downs that come with growing up together.
And my dad…
That relationship was more complicated.
He was tough.
He had high standards.
And I didn’t always feel like I met them.
But in his own way, he loved me.
Five Years That Changed Everything
I lost all three of them within five years.
That alone is hard to process.
Losing Dad during COVID made it even harder.
There wasn’t the time together beforehand that you always assume you’ll have.
And that’s the part that hits you.
You assume there will be more time.
More conversations.
More visits.
More chances to say what you want to say.
Until there isn’t.
What’s Left… & What’s Different
I still have my sister-in-law & my niece, & I love them dearly.
But it’s not the same.
The shape of my family has completely changed.
No parents to call on a Sunday.
No sibling to lean on.
No spontaneous BBQs or big family gatherings.
It’s quieter.
And that kind of quiet forces reflection, whether you’re ready for it or not.
What This Taught Me About Business
I’ve always loved business.
Building something. Growing it. Solving problems. Creating opportunity. That’s always been part of who I am.
But this experience sharpened something for me.
Business matters.
But it should never come at the expense of family.
I don’t sit here with regrets.
But like most people, I wish I had more time.
More presence.
More conversations.
More moments that didn’t get pushed aside because something “urgent” needed attention.
Because once that time is gone, you don’t get another chance.
Why This Matters in Family Business
This is exactly why the work I do matters so much to me.
I work with family businesses because I understand how precious family is.
And how fragile it can be.
I’ve seen how quickly unspoken assumptions, misalignment & lack of clarity can create tension that lasts far longer than anyone expects.
And I’ve seen how those tensions don’t stay in the boardroom. They follow people home.
That’s why I push for:
- Clarity
- Accountability
- Open conversations
- Real alignment
Not because it fits a framework.
Because life is too short for:
- Unspoken resentment
- Avoided conversations
- Half-finished plans
Vision Is About More Than Business
When I talk about vision, I’m not talking about a document.
I’m talking about being intentional about the life you’re building.
Because you don’t always get another go.
You don’t always get more time.
And the decisions you’re making today, in your business & your life, shape something much bigger than quarterly results.
Sometimes a Mentor, Always a Student
I’ve always believed there’s more to learn.
In fact, I’ve got a tattoo that reminds me of that.
A Chinese symbol that translates to:
“Sometimes a mentor, always a student.”
Because no matter how much experience you have, life has a way of teaching you what really matters.
A Personal Reflection
I’ve found myself reflecting on all of this again.
Grateful.
For the life I have.
For the work I get to do.
For the people still in it.
And aware that none of it is guaranteed 💖
Final Thought
If this nudges one thing, let it be this.
Pick up the phone.
Call your parents.
Call your sibling.
Reach out to someone you’ve been meaning to talk to.
And if you’re running a family business…
Have the conversation you’ve been avoiding.
Because business can wait.
But time doesn’t.
If you want to build a business that supports a better life, not replaces it, that’s the work I care about.
Written by Debra Chantry-Taylor, FBA Accredited Family Business Advisor, Certified EOS Implementer & Founder of Business Action.
Business Action is focused on helping Entrepreneurs lead better lives, through creating a better business. We have a small team of accredited family business advisors, EOS Implementers & Leadership coaches, as well as access to a huge range of advisors through our Trusted Partners Network.
